And . . . relax

Another day of illness.  Maggot 2 had one of his hallucinations last night so ended down on the sofa with us until we went to bed, which due to the disturbed night the night before was around 9pm.  We put him on to the Z-bed in our room but he ended up in our bed, but I was on the sofa already so no great shakes.

My shoulder pain is continuing to be a problem.  It has probably got worse over the day, and is a funny thing.  I can do unexpected things like replace the padding and net on the trampoline, which I completed without any great pain by ensuring I did not raise the bad arm over my head.  This is contrasted by the fact that it is very uncomfortable sitting on the sofa, and also to lie in bed.  In fact, at 1am I took a strong pain-killer and retired to the sofa so I could sleep sitting up.  Instead, I ended up watching Russell Howard's Good News, which I have caught from time to time and which is actually very funny.  He had a comic on whose name I cannot remember or find, and he was also very good.  His delivery style was to shout at the audience - doesn't sound so good so far but it was very effective - and then to get slowly more morose as the topic stayed, and remained, on lost love, as it became clear that he himself had lost love, with the story unfolding through jokes, verbal abuse and song.  It was properly edgy and the audience laughed, joined in and, on one occasion, heckled, but in the round were totally on edge not knowing what would come next, as was I.  Hard to explain really, and without a name I cannot even point you to a clip, and it is not for the want of trying.  I have Googled and Googled but with no success.

Back to the shoulder.  I have found that it really is a bit unpredictable as to when it hurts, and it is hard to know where to put it to avoid it causing pain, to the extent that I have now got a sling and keep it in that whenever I can, and while it looks ridiculous - there has been the odd snigger - it really is the most comfortable place to keep it.  My preference, as it is with all men, is that as time passes it will just go away and I can avoid the tedium of medical intervention, and usually I am able to strongly and without guilt support that posture.  This time however, there is a little niggling voice that it is actually quite serious and that I may need to get the professionals involved.  Which is tedious.

"Will I be able to play the violin afterwards doctor?".

"Yes, of course..."

"Great! I never could before!"

I hope you have a pain-free weekend.  Speak next week.

P.S. I thought I would Google "violin jokes", and as usual Uncle Google did not disappoint.  There are actual whole websites devoted to the subject of violin humour.  I am guessing they are a pretty small and inward-looking community, but exist they do.

So, here are some violin jokes.

Q: How can you tell if a violin is out of tune?
A: The bow is moving.

Q: How do you make a violin sound like a viola?
A: Sit in the back and don't play.

Q: How do you make a violin sound like a viola?
A: Play in the low register with a lot of wrong notes.

Q: What is the difference between a violin and a viola?
A: A viola burns longer.

Q: Why does a viola burn longer than a violin?
A: It is usually still in the case.

Q: What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?
A: Everyone is happy when the case is closed.

Q: Which is smaller, a violin or a viola?
A: They are actually the same size, but a violinist's head is so much bigger.

Q: Why is a violinist like a Scud missile?
A: Both are offensive and inaccurate.

Q: How do you keep your violin from getting stolen?
A: Put it in a viola case.

Q: What is the difference between a violist and a terrorist?
A: Terrorists have sympathizers.

Q: Why don't violists play hide and seek?
A: Because no one will look for them.

Q: Why shouldn't violists take up mountaineering?
A: Because if they get lost, it takes ages before anyone notices that they're missing.

I am sensing a bit of tension between the violin and viola camps, aren't you?

And . . . relax. And . . . relax*

So here we find ourselves at the end of another week, and in addition the end of another working year.  I am therefore feeling a double dose of demob happiness, combined with a belly full of mince pies, I am ready for the festive season.

As always, I am very much looking forward to the time off.  Having young children also makes the commercial bit fairly fun as well, albeit that it is a very long run in to a very short day.  Having said that, the presents for the Maggots this year are pretty good, in that they are decent things they they will really want, and things from which dad will also get some pleasure, so it should be a good break and some good family fun to be had along the way.

We will also see most of our friends over the period, although it is our plan very much to have a blank day at least every other day, because this year has been a busy one, so some time to do nothing is very much in order.

All that remains is for me to wish you a very Happy Christmas, or indeed any other pagan or religious holiday that you care to observe, and a very very merry New Year.

---------------------------------------

* for real this time, and so good they named it twice.

That was the weekend that was

I had a very productive weekend.  David came over mid afternoon on Saturday to help with the removal of the innards of our utility/study/store room area, and we have a very productive couple of hours taking down two of the three stud partitions.  This was a job for the persuader*, the claw hammer and Big Bertha**.  The maggots had a go with the claw hammer making pointless but fun holes in the plasterboard walls, whilst the men did real man's work ripping stuff down.

By the end of the session, the whole area was covered on bits of door frame, lumps of four-by-two and a mass of small and large bits of plasterboard.  Oh, and they insulated, of that is not insulting the world of insulation, with sheets of polystyrene, which were singularly useless, and collectively no better, and which made one hell of a mess.

The next day was the clear up, and Maggot 1 helped me sort first the polystyrene out from the rest, to fill up the back of the Punto, seats down, and to take to the tip.  Next trip was for all the plasterboard, which did make one hell of a mess of the Punto.  Scobi is gonna be hoovering soon me thinks.  Finally, all the ripped up laminate flooring.  I did wonder whether I could Freecycle this, but in the end speed won out and the tip it was.  I did Freecycle a fridge, a shelving unit, a computer desk and a door, so hopefully they will go soon.

Have to spend today working, but the builders will be here early to start and I for one cannot wait.  Maggot 2 asked whether they would still be here when he got home from school, so I think he may be a bit excited also.

==========================

* The crowbar

** My biggest, and best, cross-head screwdriver

And..... relax

Another week is nearly over, and this one is special since it is the end of my first week on my new account.  It has been an interesting experience, engaging with my new customer, my new colleagues and my new account team colleagues.  It is all very new for everyone, so as a new newbie, I am asking a lot of questions to which the answer is often "no idea", which is amusing, save for the fact that the said answer means I cannot move forward with the question.  

I told you the other day about one of the quirks of my new account, in that you need a valid badge holder to collect you from reception.  Well, they have  one other interesting quirks, and that is their car park policy.  When I do finally get a permanent pass, which takes 2-3 weeks (ouch. Ed.) I will have to nominate a "no drive day" which is, as the name suggests, a day when you cannot drive.  My day will be, as it is with most of the other Starfleeters, Friday.  Now isn't that a surprise.

My weekend will be fun.  Dinner tonight, Maggot 1 on a sleep-over, and a pasta evening (home-made) Saturday. 

I hope your weekend is as good as mine will be.

Twenty three years ago

Twenty three years ago I left college, having spent the final year in a rented house with three friends.  Last night the four of us met up in London.  Our calculations have determined that it has been five years since we were all together, but that did not stand in the way of us having a great evening.

Everyone was just the same as they always were.  Perhaps a little thinner on top and a little wider at the belt (speaking for myself at least) but overall it was as if we had never been apart.

I have always described us as the tortoise and the hare, with the other three being the hares.  They have all made the way fast in the world; big jobs, second marriages, probably a fairly ordinary story of ambitious people in the smoke. 

I on the other hand am the tortoise.  I have made a slow and steady progress through life, away from the Capital, with every step a steady and measured one.  It works for me, and I am certainly happy with my lot.

They all seem happy too, and we didn't even spend too long reminiscing about the past.  Well, we did a bit, looking back fondly on those reckless and carefree days, bemoaning that "we didn't know how lucky we were". etc. etc. etc.  However, we are mostly happy with our lot and where we are in life, looking for the the good bits in every situation, and we should, I think, be creating a sense of pride in our college's career advisor.  If we had had one.

We went to a very trendy pizza restaurant in an old tea warehouse.  The interior decor retained the warehouse feel; steel and concrete abound.  The seats were long benches with circular seats on a swivel arm.  Just like the dining tables at the maggots' school.  So far, I can tell that I am not selling it to you.  It was very busy, and we had to "have a drink" waiting for the pager to vibrate.  Taff did do his usually blagging routine, saying he had booked the night before etc. etc., and maybe it worked coz we had a table in 15 minutes.  I still don't think I am selling it to you.  However, and here is the clincher, the food was absolutely amazing.  Quite simply the best pizza I have had in a long long time.  Not that large, thinnish base with a bulbous crust, but the flavours were amazing.  A very fresh and very tasty pizza.

Promises were made to meet up again, and we are hoping to plan a get-together.  The others were urging a lads' night away, but I really am not sure.  It sounds a bit soppy, but I don't really like doing things without my family, so I was urging them instead for a group get together.  My suggestion was camping, which was rather vigorously poo-poo'd, so it may be something else altogether.  Time will tell.

It's all downhill from here

I refer to us being at the middle of the week of course, a phrase borrowed from someone, maybe Chris Evans, not sure.

The weekend was pretty successful.  Legoland was full of lego, and people.  We rode the big rollercoaster, at least it is the biggest there, as a family and Maggot 2 did have a couple of flutters during the ride, but by the end was talking about doing it again.  We even, for the first and probably last time in our lives, bought the photo taken during the ride, since it just captured our delight beautifully.

Sunday saw the UK-based family, my in-laws, visiting for Sunday lunch.  My mum was also over for a few days, but her knee pain kept her at home on Sunday, although she did come round for supper on Monday and it was great to see her.  Walking is not easy, but she is doing all her exercises, and the consultant (nearly a personal friend, don't you know) was very pleased with her rehabilitation.

I am now in London doing my Tuesday to Thursday stint.  We are in week 3 of our backlog clearing exercise, and are probably behind the curve with stuff closed, but with a large tidal wave of nearly finished stuff that may get us back on track by early next week.  It is hard work keeping it going, and our need to drive everyone in the chain to deliver means we are probably being viewed as a right royal bunch of wotsits, but needs must and the devil drives a Volvo.

We had a team meeting last night in a couple of pubs, the latter with the footy on, followed by a nice meal at an owner-run pizza place.  As for the footy, the least said the better.  We never really got out of third gear, and maybe can just about frame an excuse in that our opponents, Montenegro, have yet to lose a game.  In addition, Venus was in the ascendant, the tea leaves spoke of frustration and several commuters walking across Tower Bridge stepped on the cracks.

Preparing for a busy weekend

So it was, 5 years ago to the day, that LO was starting to get some pains, that were to lead, at some unholy hour of the morning, to Maggot 2's birth.  Tomorrow is his fifth birthday, and I am full of the same questions as everyone else has about their offspring, amongst them "where did the time go?", "how did we get through that five years?" and "never again".

We had planned a day out at maybe Legoland, but when asked what he really wanted to do, he replied "just stay at home with mummy", which is sort of cute, but also a recipe for cabin-fever madness. 

In the meantime, we have a small mountain of presents, and at 5 I can tell you that they are something he REALLY likes.  He goes about the unwrapping like a shark in a feeding frenzy, with a quick "nice" at the contents before moving on the next.  In fairness, after the initial frenzy he does actually play with them too.

So, that is my weekend.  I hope yours is as good as ours will be.

Until next time.

A weekend of quality time

LO is off with, um, can't remember what pseudonym I have previously given to her, so let's call her Female1.  Anyhow, LO is off with Female1 to a day cookery course in Corfe Castle, to learn to cook fresh pasta.  I cannot wait to be the guinea pig for all her experiments.

I am therefore looking after the maggots.  I intend to meet up with Male1 later for lunch, then swimming.  Prior to that I will be taking Maggot 1 to tennis, and nipping in to town with Maggot 2 to get his nursery picture, which is in for mounting and framing, and to get me a pair of swimming goggles.  My last pair got lost at the pool.  I can only guess that there is a fair old current in the pool and they are, as we speak, blocking some outlet vent, or more likely being worn by a pool cleaner.

In the meantime, us lads are all together, and planning maybe a quick game on the Wii.  The game chooses itself really, since it is one of the few that meets the requirements of a) being playable by 3 people, and b) not causing massive arguments.  Actually b) is always touch and go, so we will have to see.  Anyhow, the game will be Fifa 2009, although we actually play a secondary game on there that is 8-a-side football with little kid-like characters, mostly because we can play on opposing teams, and that does reduce the arguments by an order of magnitude.

In the evening, Male1 and Female1 are coming round for dinner.  That even could mean a lot of work for me, but actually Male1 has cooked a thai curry that they are bringing round for us all to share.  If he can only bring round 2 crates of beer and a couple of bottles of red, he will officially be the most perfect guest of all time.

Have a good weekend, enjoy any sunshine you can find, and speak again Monday.

Time for the little ones

I spent the first part of this morning taking the maggots to school, and attending a "Six Weeks In" session for Maggot 2's reception class parents.  And much fun it was too.  A few "games" to break the ice, and give us parents some of the key messages about partnership.  The presenter was an amazing woman, who I just happened to be married to.  She does this as part of her job, but for another district, so as a Parent Governor she gives her time for free to run a similar session for the Reception year.  What a woman.

We then went to see our maggots in their native classroom habitat, and that was fine until we had to leave, when Maggot 2 had one of his world-famous paddies, and had to be gently restrained so we could beat a hasty retreat.  Having been the restrainer on more than one occasion, I know it does not last long, and in fact his teacher, the fabulous Mrs G, has just rung and all is well with the little one. 

Saturday morning

It is, as the title suggests, Saturday morning.  Maggot 1 is on cub camp for the weekend, Maggot 2 has a bit of unwellness going on, which led to the usual bed swapping routine at an unholy hour of the night.  Today we are hoping to do the rounds of some establishments to get paint charts (for a repaint of bedroom) and to visit reclaim yards to see what the market has on offer in the reclaimed doors front, an external door to replace our front door with something that has stained glass, and an internal door for the new extension, which, I should add, is potentially several months away from even starting, but us Librans, apart from being very sceptical about astrology (you've used that one before, but I guess the old ones are the best. Ed.), do like to be organised early.  This will unfortunately depend to a certain extend on whether Maggot 2 is still ill today, since we do not want to drag him round the countryside if it makes him iller, since we have a rather tight schedule next week.

We watched a video last night called Unthinkable, with Samuel L Jackson as a sort of good guy, playing a Black Ops specialist whose main skill was the art of torture.  It was shocking and unexpected in several parts, and actually for a plot that read as "another one of those Armageddon-countdown thrillers" was, for me at least, pretty good.  I think it was dealing with the "ugly side of the war on terrorism" or some such thing.  It certainly was not comfortable viewing, simply due to the extreme violence, but enough said in case I be accused of spoiling the plot.  Would I recommend it to you?  To be honest, I am not sure.  Probably yes just so we can discuss it a bit.

We did a three for a tenner deal at Blockbuster, and with a free weekend for the first time in about four months, we will be watching that one with Clooney as a guy who flies all the time giving people the sack, and thinks he is happy but we know different.  Can't remember its name, and to be honest the case is over the other side of the room, and I cannot be bothered to get up and read it.  I should add that I am currently snuggled under a duvet watching CBBC with Maggot 2, and do not want to destroy the cozy situation.

So I shall bid you a happy weekend, and let's catch up next week.

So there you are

I have been looking for Friday all week, and now I have found it.  Another week over, and a bit of progress made, but definitely time to go home and see my family.  I am not even sure what we are doing this weekend, but I don't care, I would just like to be sleeping in my own bed and spending some time with the family.  

I did manage to go shopping one evening, with the big shops open until 8pm.  Got myself some of them there long short things for my summer holidays, and a little present each for LO, maggot 1 and maggot 2.  The emphasis on little.  Sent a text last night mentioning it, and realise I have set myself up to fail.  However much they are preparing for something "little", I imagine that the "little" that they are going to get is somewhat "littler" than the "little" that they have imagined.  We will all try to laugh it off at the time, but I expect to be left in no doubt that my card is marked.

I hope your weekend will be as good as mine is definitely going to be.

Enjoy the sunshine.  I hope to be in the (large) paddling pool with the maggots, maybe a little lie in the hammock, and participating in whatever activities we have planned or make up over the weekend.  Ah, bliss.  ttfn.

Where did the weekend go?

We had a lovely weekend 'vannin' in the New Forest with Brad and Angelina.  The weather was broadly sunny, the site very natural, and the company just what the doctor ordered.  The site is one where you just pick your place amongst the trees, and our place we picked amongst the trees was perfect.  A bit far from the toilet block, but then we only use that for solids (over-sharing, Ed.).  The maggots made a camp on the first day, and asked for my help on the second.  As I walked away from the said camp that I have to say was one of my better ones, I had one of those moments that offset the agony (and cost) of having children.  Maggot 2 said, as I strode back to the main camp for another cuppa and a slice of chocolate chip Madeira cake, "See, I told you my dad's camps are the best!"

Ah, bless.

We also went down to the river, that is like the Riviera, but smaller.  And less sunny.  Oh, and not so French.  But it is wet and has a beachy bit and a rope swing, and it was on the said rope swing that all four maggots had a swing and a splash. Sir Scobi even had a go, which was fun, although the rope did stretch rather more for me than for the maggots, making my bum drag in the icy cold water and my flip-flops to drop off in to the river.  Needless to say that provided much merriment for the maggots, and a rather scrambled dismount and ungainly wade to retrieve the said flops.

This week is one spent mostly in London.  The needs of the account are becoming more stringent and on site presence seems to be slowly being mandated via a number of frankly pointless escalations.  I hope that things will settle down after the July deadline, but if not then I may need to hang in there until October/November and then look for something else.

The demands of Starfleet are many and varied, and the joy of working may be slowly ebbing away.  Those with a long-service medal say that things ain't like they used to be, and even though my medal is a few years away, I think that maybe I am beginning to agree with them.

On that cheery note, have a good week, and speak tomorrow.

A day of rest, or two

Well folks, what a fantastic weekend we had.  We have been so blinking busy of late that we just needed a weekend when we had nothing on.  And this weekend was that weekend.

Saturday AM was spent as a Parent-and-Child science morning at Maggot 1's school, which was greatly enjoyed by all.  The school have been working on capturing the children's imagination, and they have done this by delivering a box of unknown stuff to each class (even teacher did not know what was in the box) for them to do experiments.  Any experiments.

So on Saturday, we were presented with a whole load of trifle-related ingredients.  Whole trifles in tubs, squirty cream, those funny little finger buscuits your gran puts or put in to her trifles, custard and a lot of other incidental ingredients.  There was also proper science stuff like pipettes, stop clocks, thermometers and other stuff that, had we been wearing one, we would have definitely put in the pocket of our white lab coat.

Our goal was simply to invent an experiment.  The science lady asked us to think "what changes, and what stays the same", and with a few words of encouragement from the school science lead, off we went.

Our first experiment was to test the absorbency of finger biscuits with various different liquids.  Surprising the vinegar was the most absorbent.  Who would have thought it?  Or really care?

Our second experiment was how far different amounts of cream on a biscuit splattered when a 1Kg weight was dropped from a height of 30cm.  That was really just coz we needed to make some mess.

The rest of the day was spent at home, doing stuff, some of it even classifiable as chores, but all making us feel more in control and with some important things off our to do list.

Oh, and of course there was a footy match to watch.  More words have been written about that already than had previously existed in the whole history of the planet, so I will keep my comments brief.

1.  How we played - not bad, could do better, key players performed under-par, so look out world when they have a good game.

2.  The USA goal - poor old Green, reckon he has the strength to recover, is probably an OK goalie, and certainly did a great save in the second half.  Having said that, I am a Pompey fan, so not too unhappy if the big man Jammo gets the next game.

3.  Will we win the cup - doubt it.  Happy to hope.  That is the English curse.  Always looking for hope to triumph over experience.

Have a good week.

Easter is over.... sort of

We had a lovely day yesterday. Went to church for the Easter Sunday service which, if truth be told, was half an hour too long. Father Stuart is prone to talking a lot, or including lots of sections that draw out the service.
We were just on time (which equals late really) and had to separate in to two pairs. I got off lightly, sitting with maggot 1 who was very well behaved. LO was not so lucky with maggot 2 who, in fairness, has always had a 40 minute attention span, so the second half of the service was an ordeal, made worse because they were not sitting in their usual places, so were therefore sitting next to some of the more elderly members of the congregation. I believe there were a few silent tuts.

Then we had 10 for lunch. After an unfortunate potato peeling incident, I peeled what I thought was way too many potatoes, but by the end of the meal all the main course food had gone. It must have been all that running around outside playing a "football match". At least there was plenty of puddings left for later eating.
The lawn is absolutely knackered, but no point spending too much effort on it this side of the extension, but more of that another day.

We don't have much on today, so I hope to spend a bit of time in the garden, pruning an over-hanging apple tree that, in the autumn, is prone to dropping hundreds of apples on my lawn, which are a pain to keep picking up. I will also try and get the maggots inspired to do a bit of maintenance on the trampoline, which needs some green algae cleaned off the bottom of the net, and some general repairs to both net and spring padding.

You are as old as you feel

And boy do I feel old today. The sleepover for maggot 1 and his 3 friends was a lovely evening, enjoyed by all. Pizza for tea followed by a swim followed by a film and a "midnight snack" and the little darlings were asleep by around 11pm. Unbelievably, they were awake again at 5am, raring to go. This does seem rather naive in hindsight since it is well known that the young, unlike the older ones, do not wake up any later just because they went to bed later. Really not sure how that works, but it is undoubtedly the truth.
On the Saturday we went to How to Tame a Dragon in 3D. Now, as a fan of The Good Doctor (see previous posts for details if you don't know who this is) I was expecting the 3D to be a bit of a distraction. However, and this is twice now that I have disagreed with The Good Doctor, but I found the 3D to really enhance the film. It was a very enjoyable film, and the 3D really added to the experience. It may be our absolute fascination with all the Disney theme rides etc, but it did indeed seem a bit like a theme ride, with the scenes where the dragon flies up high then swoops down to the sea are really something. My guess would be that the Good Doctor would probably like film, but probably not the 3D. As I often say, film is art and art is subjective...

I am on a two-day week this week, with Wednesday and Thursday as holiday, Friday and Monday being Bank Holidays. Six days off, can't wait. My parents are home later tonight, and it will be lovely to see them. We already have a long list of baby-sitting dates for them, as well as a number of dates for them to come to us for meals. I am just praying that the weather stays good for them, since they do have high standards weather-wise.

Retail Sandwich Index

The thing that economists have been warning of for a while has finally come to pass. As anyone could have identified by the devastating fall in the Retail Sandwich index (RSI), the Worcester sandwich shop has closed.
Golfy first brought this news to you two days ago, and the poor chap has been inconsolable ever since he found out. Even the mighty Gorse Fox is planning a boycott of the West Midlands in support of the place.

I would just like to give a shout out to Lucas, the owner, and his daughters. Lucas was, I am sad to report, a Manchester United fan. He may indeed still be a Man U fan, depending on how the counselling is going. Ha ha.

Anyway, I shall miss my brown-baguette-egg-mayo-and-salad-with-lots-of-black-pepper sandwiches, a friendly chat with Lucas, a checkout of the latest wacky nail painting on one of the daughters, and quick peek at The Sun. Just about the most perfect lunch break you could ask for. I am salivating just at the thought of the egg sandwich and really will miss every aspect of the experience. Lucas, if you are reading this (which of course he almost definitely is not) then good luck in whatever you are doing now, and maybe we shall meet in another food outlet sometime.

I is nearly 8 years to the day that maggot number 1 was born. It feels like a lifetime. I really am not sure what we used to do before children, but I dream that it including a lot of sleeping, reading, eating and drinking. It may have even included a bit of the other, which of course got us into this mess in the first place.
I do remember that when we were in the flat we sometimes did not get up until 8am. Sometimes I can be up and have driven two and a half hours to be in Worcester by 8am. And even if I was not driving all that way, then there are plenty of other ways to welcome in the new dawn as one or other, occasionally both, maggots dive bombs us in search of a cuddle.

Maggot 1 has three of his friends from school coming over for a sleepover that will involve swimming, cinema, an almost uncontainable amount of excited energy, and the illicit eating of a mountain chocolate at midnight that maggot 1 has been stockpiling since Christmas. One of the mums said to me in the playground today that we must be mad, oh, and also mentioned that her little maggot often stays up until midnight when he stays with his grandparents. I need to check the contract, because I don't remember that being part of the service. Let's just hope we can knacker them out before then because, let's be honest, we need to be in bed way before then.

And I certainly didn't do that BM (before maggots).

Let's hope the sun keeps on shining right through the weekend and into next week. Scobi senior times two return to these shores in 5 days and we really do not want to be scaring them off with cold weather and rain.

I hope you all have a great weekend, and let's meet again next week.

Benjamin Sniddlegrass and the Cauldron of Penguins

Some of you may know what "Benjamin Sniddlegrass and the Cauldron of Penguins" is all about, but I am guessing that some of you don't have the faintest idea what I am talking about. Let me explain.

I am a big fan of the Mark Kermode and Simon Mayo film review radio slot on Radio 5, which I catch on Podcast. Mark has a doctorate in something probably rather trivial - but don't tell him I said that because I was only trying to be funny, not to insult him although to be honest, I have more chance of winning the lottery 2 weeks in a row than him finding out, so if you do bump in to him, please say "hi" from me - so is often referred to as "the Good Doctor". So, the Good Doctor reviews films, and does so in quite an amusing way.

One of the films he has reviewed this yeas is Percy Jackson and the Lightening Thief. He is not much impressed with this film. It is, I am reliably informed, directed by the director of the first two Harry Potter films, and is such a seemingly blatent rip off of HP that Mark very much questions the point of its existence. Having seen the trailers, I expect my vote would come down on the Good Doctor's side every time. During one of his rants, he made some comment about how pointlessly the same as HP it was, and why did they not just call it "Benjamin Sniddlegrass and the Cauldron of Penguins" to really make the point that it was indeed a pointless rip off of the relatively original HP (which itself has had a plagarism charge made against it).

So, it turns out that I am not the only person on this planet who listens to the good doctor, whether live, via the internet or on podcast. I may be the only sane listener however, because one or more of his followers has been rather inspired by BSatCoP and started a blog, has created a poster and generally grasped the baton with a vigour and creativeness that means that, within our lifetime, someone will probably have made a film with that title!

So, anyway, back to the reason why the phrase "Benjamin Sniddlegrass and the Cauldron of Penguins" came into being. Mark K absolutely hates this film because it has no purpose, except, in his words, as a way to mercilessly make money.

So, being a balanced kind of individual, I feel the need to put forward an alternative viewpoint. Maybe actually it is because I simply like to argue the opposite of anyone I meet.

So, maggot 1 went to see this film for the second time at the weekend with our friend's daughter who is 12. He loved it as much as the first time, and she loved it for the first time. But the point is, they both loved it.

Now, we have another friend whose child has watched Cars probably 100 times. He loves Cars. Actually, I love Cars, and have even shed a tear at one bit ... when I got something in my eye. Anyhow, if we told this child there was a film like Cars, called Broom Brooms or something, then he would be over the moon. Another film AS GOOD AS CARS, that is amazing. I am guessing now, but I reckon the child would absolutely love Broom Brooms. I am also guessing a bit, but I would imagine that the Good Doctor would absolutely HATE Broom Brooms for the same reason as he hates Percy Jackson.

So, who is right?

They both are, obviously, because film is art and art is subjective. I love Radiohead. Many people I know do not. I love Marmite, and I am led to believe there are some who don't. I even love The Cardiacs, Cardinal Sin and the Bum Notes and Tom Waits, and you can be damn sure that there are plenty of people who have never heard of them, and if they have hate them.

But I digress again. The actual point of all these words is to say that yes, PJ is a bit derivative, and yes, it looks very much like a cynical attempt to extract money from young folks who don't know better. They don't have the experience and depth of knowledge the Good Doctor has, and they are obviously enjoying different things than he is. But, I tell you, there is someone down our way who absolutely loved the first film, and cannot wait until PJ the sequel is released. He even went to the World Book Day at his school dressed as none other than Percy Jackson. Obviously, he had to explain to everyone who he was, and for some being told did not improve their understanding, but hey, as Esther Rantzen often said, that's life.

Day 1 in the Scobi household

Day one is very much like day zero, day minus one and day minus two, except on this day I have to try and make it sound interesting. So here goes.

Bad night sleep, up at six, made toast for maggot number two, apple juice for maggot number one, and sat down to check the overnight email. This has become something of a standard start for me. It gets the worst of it out the way early, and then I can break for shower and getting the maggots off to school and nursery. On this day I was on the school run, which consists of leaving it all a bit too late, and then shouting several times for teeth, shoes, coat and lunch boxes. Today was made a bit worse because it is World Book Day, a day invented by someone who obviously doesn't have children, but a day that children themselves absolutely love. So on this day, day one, there was the additional cry of "have you got all the bits of your costume?" to which the answer was inevitably "has anyone seen my ...".
Now I am back at work and finishing a number of overrunning solutions. This means sitting in my little untidy office viewing the whole world through the seventeen inches of my PC screen (being a bit clever I plug my laptop in to my home keyboard, moose and screen, wey hey!). It is a strange working life spent on the end of a broadband connection.

Anyhow, back to work, the screen is shouting at me.