I have no desire to be an advertising site, but I liked this link.
Tell it what you think about various things, and it will tell you what party matches your views. Give it a go.
http://www.votematch.org.uk
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Tuesday, 13 April 2010
PUP PPU
I am not a true fan.
How can I even show my face round here.
How could I have forgotten the most important thing that happened this weekend.
POMPEY ARE
IN THE
FA CUP FINAL
Obviously I do need to apologise firstly to any Spurs supporters. Sorry for giving you our manager, our deputy manager, half a backroom and most of our good players, just as they turned not so good (I know, that bit is a lie). Mostly, I am sorry for the pitch cutting up only where your players were standing or, in the case of Dawson, sitting.
Anyhow, enough of the fun banter (eh? Ed), what a fantastic thing for every Pompey supporter, and every neutral, and even a couple of the Spurs fans.
We face some other London club in the final. Talk is they were the same shirts as our boys, and they are a bit handy, although they are also a bit over-paid. Well, whatever happens, win or lose, BRING IT ON
My only fear is what we now do for the remaining 6 league games. There are some dodgy rules about playing the second team, but we really must ensure our best players stay fit, get match practice, but stay uninjured. We cannot afford even one more injury to our threadbare squad. Maybe we should give them all 1950s football boots, with all the strength, padding and protection needed to keep our lads' feet safe. So what if they look like a deep sea diver's boots. So what if they slow people down. WE ARE IN THE FINAL.
Play up Pompey, Pompey Play Up
How can I even show my face round here.
How could I have forgotten the most important thing that happened this weekend.
POMPEY ARE
IN THE
FA CUP FINAL
Obviously I do need to apologise firstly to any Spurs supporters. Sorry for giving you our manager, our deputy manager, half a backroom and most of our good players, just as they turned not so good (I know, that bit is a lie). Mostly, I am sorry for the pitch cutting up only where your players were standing or, in the case of Dawson, sitting.
Anyhow, enough of the fun banter (eh? Ed), what a fantastic thing for every Pompey supporter, and every neutral, and even a couple of the Spurs fans.
We face some other London club in the final. Talk is they were the same shirts as our boys, and they are a bit handy, although they are also a bit over-paid. Well, whatever happens, win or lose, BRING IT ON
My only fear is what we now do for the remaining 6 league games. There are some dodgy rules about playing the second team, but we really must ensure our best players stay fit, get match practice, but stay uninjured. We cannot afford even one more injury to our threadbare squad. Maybe we should give them all 1950s football boots, with all the strength, padding and protection needed to keep our lads' feet safe. So what if they look like a deep sea diver's boots. So what if they slow people down. WE ARE IN THE FINAL.
Play up Pompey, Pompey Play Up
Is that music I hear?
I am wresting with the right verb. I can't decide if the right word is make or write or compose or something else altogether. For the purposes of this blog, I shall therefore be using a composite word what we can agree between us means whatever it is that I do. The word shall be compeate. This is part compose, part create.
So, I have been compeating music again. I am working on an Aphex Twin inspired electronica song that I am trying very had to make odd, and, for now, failing. I feel it needs some kind of voice clip, and have decided that I shall be looking for such a sound clip from the film Harvey. Golfy recently watched the film, supposedly on the casual mention by me, and it has reminded me what a charming film it was. I have found the clip and will have a look tonight whether mashegrate (part mash, part integrate of course) it in to the song to see whether I can make it please me.
I even got a message on my MySpace page, along the lines of "liking the music..." but on closer inspection, I notice that it is a company dealing in band paraphernalia, t-shirts, plectrums, stickers, hoodies, lighters etc. Maybe they are flattering to deceive, and I for one am always open to flattery, but am not sure a plectrum is going to be much use on my computer-based home studio.
I am on a short week this week, with a couple of days off to go 'vannin'. This means that a number of loose threads need either to be tidied up or given to someone else to ensure that the Starfleet machine does not stutter due to my absence. In case you are worried, that last bit was me trying to flatter myself, and I realise of course that, as a rule, you are missed in such circumstances about as much as a bucket of water misses your hand when you take it out.
As I will be off air for a couple of days, I thought I had better leave you with a joke so the memory of me lingers until I return (self-flattery again). As anyone who knows me knows, I do like to tell a joke, and have a soft spot for a-man-walks-in-to-a-bar type jokes. Here goes.
A nose walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says, "Sorry, I can't serve you. You're already off your face."
Anyway....
So, I have been compeating music again. I am working on an Aphex Twin inspired electronica song that I am trying very had to make odd, and, for now, failing. I feel it needs some kind of voice clip, and have decided that I shall be looking for such a sound clip from the film Harvey. Golfy recently watched the film, supposedly on the casual mention by me, and it has reminded me what a charming film it was. I have found the clip and will have a look tonight whether mashegrate (part mash, part integrate of course) it in to the song to see whether I can make it please me.
I even got a message on my MySpace page, along the lines of "liking the music..." but on closer inspection, I notice that it is a company dealing in band paraphernalia, t-shirts, plectrums, stickers, hoodies, lighters etc. Maybe they are flattering to deceive, and I for one am always open to flattery, but am not sure a plectrum is going to be much use on my computer-based home studio.
I am on a short week this week, with a couple of days off to go 'vannin'. This means that a number of loose threads need either to be tidied up or given to someone else to ensure that the Starfleet machine does not stutter due to my absence. In case you are worried, that last bit was me trying to flatter myself, and I realise of course that, as a rule, you are missed in such circumstances about as much as a bucket of water misses your hand when you take it out.
As I will be off air for a couple of days, I thought I had better leave you with a joke so the memory of me lingers until I return (self-flattery again). As anyone who knows me knows, I do like to tell a joke, and have a soft spot for a-man-walks-in-to-a-bar type jokes. Here goes.
A nose walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says, "Sorry, I can't serve you. You're already off your face."
Anyway....
Monday, 12 April 2010
What is wrong with the world, and what is right
Go on, ask me what I did at the weekend. Go on, you know you want to.
Well, the answer is that we spent a lovely day and night at our friends' house up north, in Newbury. Then on Sunday we went to a caravan show. Now I have talked before about caravans, and feel the need to do so again.
After my last article, Mori conducted an exit poll from the blog in question, and of 17 people interviewed:
- 0.1% were very very satisfied
- 0.2% were very satisfied
- 1% were satisfied
- 98.7% were don't know.
As Vic Reeves said, 84.6% of statistics are made up on the spot. It may have been someone else.
We managed to buy not a lot really, but the kids had great fun running in and out of a hundred caravans and motor homes (oh yes, motor homes too) and we did have a fantastic picnic made by our friends which included tortilla (Spanish omlette, not triangle crisps) rolls, which were absolutely delicious and up there with the now extinct Worcester egg salad baguette with extra black pepper.
Whilst up north, I was discussing with Thoughtful about the use of "so", since I have noticed since starting this blog that I want to start a lot of sentences with the word. Check yourself today, I bet you will want to say "so" a lot of times to start a sentence.
So, anyway, we were also discussing life, and the things wrong with it, and in summary our three things wrong with the world are:
1. infinite lives on video games.
2. people don't play enough cards.
3. people don't darn socks anymore.
Infinite lives give a false sense of security, and stop people taking responsibility for their actions, and therein lies the problem. Dropping litter is about many things, but not least that the person dropping their fag packet, empty Tennant's Extra or crisp packet knows that they won't have to pick it up. If they dropped it in their own home, sooner or later they would.
Cards is about odds, what others are thinking, and strategies. It makes you think about cause and effect (if I throw the king, will they want it), odds (based on what they have thrown out, and what has already been laid down, the seven is the safest card to discard) and strategies (if we let them win, we might get some tonight). Everyone needs these skills to be an effective member of society, able to contribute positively and to work effectively with their friends, colleagues and family.
Darning socks is about mend and make do, repairing rather than replacing, having a sense of maintaining and looking after your possessions. These skills have been rather lost in our "throw away society" and while the obvious parallel are material things like plastic bags and old TVs, it does go deeper in to a mental attitude that pervades through society that sometimes blinds us to the real value in things.
For those with a keen eye, I am happy to acknowledge that this sock darning sentiment is actually one of Walander's views on life, with meaning expanded by me. Don't want any accusations of plagiarism. Especially if they are true.
Have a good Monday and see you again tomorrow.
Well, the answer is that we spent a lovely day and night at our friends' house up north, in Newbury. Then on Sunday we went to a caravan show. Now I have talked before about caravans, and feel the need to do so again.
After my last article, Mori conducted an exit poll from the blog in question, and of 17 people interviewed:
- 0.1% were very very satisfied
- 0.2% were very satisfied
- 1% were satisfied
- 98.7% were don't know.
As Vic Reeves said, 84.6% of statistics are made up on the spot. It may have been someone else.
We managed to buy not a lot really, but the kids had great fun running in and out of a hundred caravans and motor homes (oh yes, motor homes too) and we did have a fantastic picnic made by our friends which included tortilla (Spanish omlette, not triangle crisps) rolls, which were absolutely delicious and up there with the now extinct Worcester egg salad baguette with extra black pepper.
Whilst up north, I was discussing with Thoughtful about the use of "so", since I have noticed since starting this blog that I want to start a lot of sentences with the word. Check yourself today, I bet you will want to say "so" a lot of times to start a sentence.
So, anyway, we were also discussing life, and the things wrong with it, and in summary our three things wrong with the world are:
1. infinite lives on video games.
2. people don't play enough cards.
3. people don't darn socks anymore.
Infinite lives give a false sense of security, and stop people taking responsibility for their actions, and therein lies the problem. Dropping litter is about many things, but not least that the person dropping their fag packet, empty Tennant's Extra or crisp packet knows that they won't have to pick it up. If they dropped it in their own home, sooner or later they would.
Cards is about odds, what others are thinking, and strategies. It makes you think about cause and effect (if I throw the king, will they want it), odds (based on what they have thrown out, and what has already been laid down, the seven is the safest card to discard) and strategies (if we let them win, we might get some tonight). Everyone needs these skills to be an effective member of society, able to contribute positively and to work effectively with their friends, colleagues and family.
Darning socks is about mend and make do, repairing rather than replacing, having a sense of maintaining and looking after your possessions. These skills have been rather lost in our "throw away society" and while the obvious parallel are material things like plastic bags and old TVs, it does go deeper in to a mental attitude that pervades through society that sometimes blinds us to the real value in things.
For those with a keen eye, I am happy to acknowledge that this sock darning sentiment is actually one of Walander's views on life, with meaning expanded by me. Don't want any accusations of plagiarism. Especially if they are true.
Have a good Monday and see you again tomorrow.
Friday, 9 April 2010
P.S.
I forgot to mention the momentous treaty signed between Barack Obama and Russian President Dmitry Medvedev to reduce nuclear weapons.
The treaty sets a limit of 1,550 strategic nuclear warheads for each side, down from 2,200 under a 2002 deal. The pact also re-establishes anti-cheating procedures that were not written into the 2002 accord, thus providing the most comprehensive and substantial arms control agreement since the 1991 treaty.
I for one will sleep at night knowing the amount of times that each sides can blow up the world has been reduced by 30%.
I am also slightly amused by the idea of cheating. Do you think they paint smiley faces on the bombs and pass them off as super tall Barbies?
The treaty sets a limit of 1,550 strategic nuclear warheads for each side, down from 2,200 under a 2002 deal. The pact also re-establishes anti-cheating procedures that were not written into the 2002 accord, thus providing the most comprehensive and substantial arms control agreement since the 1991 treaty.
I for one will sleep at night knowing the amount of times that each sides can blow up the world has been reduced by 30%.
I am also slightly amused by the idea of cheating. Do you think they paint smiley faces on the bombs and pass them off as super tall Barbies?
God Save the Queen
Not entirely comfortable with taking a couple of key people's name in vain, but needs must, and it does fit the tone of today's blog.
Yesterday, it was announced that Malcolm McLaren had died, aged 64, from a rare form of cancer. He is generally credited as the "Godfather of Punk" and if not entirely true, it is true enough for most people to be comfortable believing it.
While I was alive during the punk era, in truth it mostly passed me by, although I did keep from nanny a small seam tear on a pair of tweed plus fours once.
What I do remember are the punks who hung about on the Kings Road during the early eighties, just before the Chelsea Barracks, so as you walked down the road you had the faint smell of vomit followed by the faint smell of wee (really tasteless, Ed.).
I also recall a story from someone during that era, who may have been Richard E Grant but I am not certain. I am guessing that if it was indeed Richard E, then it was probably around the time of Withnail and I, which is obviously a guess on a guess, so of very dubious provenance.
But let's not worry about the detail, the story goes as follows. The person in question, Richard E, was walking down a road, let's call it The King's Road since we are making stuff up with wild abandon, and he notices a punk starting to follow him. The punk is pretty scary looking, with mohican hair, bondage trousers and a t-shirt that resembled a bin liner, all held together with safety pins. Alarmed, Richard E starts to speed up, but as he does so, the punk also speeds up. So he goes even faster, breaking in to a light jog, only to find the punk running at full pelt towards him, catching him up soon after. "Excuse me, but aren't you Richard E Grant," he asks. Richard confirms that he is, to which the punk then asks "I wonder if I could have your autograph please?" Richard E feels about his person, but cannot find a pen, and neither can the punk. "I can always spit on your plastic bag if you want," says Richard E. "Oh, would you?" replies the punk.
The moral of the story is probably that you cannot judge by appearances. Unlike Pete Docherty who cannot appear by judges. Boom boom.
This weekend we are entertaining my parents on Friday evening for my mum's birthday, we are off for a day and night on Saturday to friends up country, and we are going to a caravan show at Broadlands on Sunday. I can think of nothing witty to write about that, so will wait for the many comments on the subject before I comment further. As before, please use small letters and try to spell the words right. There are two S's in tosser.
Yesterday, it was announced that Malcolm McLaren had died, aged 64, from a rare form of cancer. He is generally credited as the "Godfather of Punk" and if not entirely true, it is true enough for most people to be comfortable believing it.
While I was alive during the punk era, in truth it mostly passed me by, although I did keep from nanny a small seam tear on a pair of tweed plus fours once.
What I do remember are the punks who hung about on the Kings Road during the early eighties, just before the Chelsea Barracks, so as you walked down the road you had the faint smell of vomit followed by the faint smell of wee (really tasteless, Ed.).
I also recall a story from someone during that era, who may have been Richard E Grant but I am not certain. I am guessing that if it was indeed Richard E, then it was probably around the time of Withnail and I, which is obviously a guess on a guess, so of very dubious provenance.
But let's not worry about the detail, the story goes as follows. The person in question, Richard E, was walking down a road, let's call it The King's Road since we are making stuff up with wild abandon, and he notices a punk starting to follow him. The punk is pretty scary looking, with mohican hair, bondage trousers and a t-shirt that resembled a bin liner, all held together with safety pins. Alarmed, Richard E starts to speed up, but as he does so, the punk also speeds up. So he goes even faster, breaking in to a light jog, only to find the punk running at full pelt towards him, catching him up soon after. "Excuse me, but aren't you Richard E Grant," he asks. Richard confirms that he is, to which the punk then asks "I wonder if I could have your autograph please?" Richard E feels about his person, but cannot find a pen, and neither can the punk. "I can always spit on your plastic bag if you want," says Richard E. "Oh, would you?" replies the punk.
The moral of the story is probably that you cannot judge by appearances. Unlike Pete Docherty who cannot appear by judges. Boom boom.
This weekend we are entertaining my parents on Friday evening for my mum's birthday, we are off for a day and night on Saturday to friends up country, and we are going to a caravan show at Broadlands on Sunday. I can think of nothing witty to write about that, so will wait for the many comments on the subject before I comment further. As before, please use small letters and try to spell the words right. There are two S's in tosser.
Thursday, 8 April 2010
Digital Economy Bill
I wanted to add my voice to the mounting concern of a rushed and ill thought out piece of legislation, but like Golfy, I am speechless. So, instead, I will paraphrase the views expressed on last Friday's Now Show, which are both relevant and funny.
So, it looks like the government is going to win the day, and the new Digital Economy Bill is going to survive scrutiny and become law. Most people struggle with the fact that it was seemingly (maybe that should be allegedly?) conceived by Peter Mandelson after a dinner with David Geffen, a story that could only be made worse if they had been sitting on seats made from human skulls, and had shared a glass of dark red stuff with the Illuminata.
So what does this mean for normal people. It is easy to get hysterical, which is often half the fun, but the burden of proof does seem to lie with the individual to prove they were not downloading illegal music, just class A porn. This is like saying that every bottom could hide drugs, so the answer is for every person in the country to have a cavity inspection. When it comes to rubber gloves, that is one bit of digital economy I can definitely support.
It also puts the onus on "any ISP", which could extend to anyone who has not secured their wireless, and so are allowing, unwittingly, others to access their broadband connection. Every street has at least one so that should be interesting, seeing sweet Mrs Jones being hauled off to prison in a paddy wagon.
The music industry told us that home taping would kill music. I am not sure if I know what a tape even looks like now, and I AM old enough to have remembered. I do, however, remember in just a bit too much detail Lady Gaga and that too thin woman from X-Factor, so I guess that theory has been busted.
So, it looks like the government is going to win the day, and the new Digital Economy Bill is going to survive scrutiny and become law. Most people struggle with the fact that it was seemingly (maybe that should be allegedly?) conceived by Peter Mandelson after a dinner with David Geffen, a story that could only be made worse if they had been sitting on seats made from human skulls, and had shared a glass of dark red stuff with the Illuminata.
So what does this mean for normal people. It is easy to get hysterical, which is often half the fun, but the burden of proof does seem to lie with the individual to prove they were not downloading illegal music, just class A porn. This is like saying that every bottom could hide drugs, so the answer is for every person in the country to have a cavity inspection. When it comes to rubber gloves, that is one bit of digital economy I can definitely support.
It also puts the onus on "any ISP", which could extend to anyone who has not secured their wireless, and so are allowing, unwittingly, others to access their broadband connection. Every street has at least one so that should be interesting, seeing sweet Mrs Jones being hauled off to prison in a paddy wagon.
The music industry told us that home taping would kill music. I am not sure if I know what a tape even looks like now, and I AM old enough to have remembered. I do, however, remember in just a bit too much detail Lady Gaga and that too thin woman from X-Factor, so I guess that theory has been busted.
Tuesday, 6 April 2010
And Then it is Gone
It is a well-known phenomenon, and one that I am very used to, however it still catches my by surprise every time.
What am I talking about? The "time off" phenomenon. At the start of six days off, it feels like ages until you are back to work, and you keep telling yourself that it will all pass by very quickly, yet no amount of self-talk can prepare you for the suddenness with which Tuesday morning is upon you.
Oh well. So, here I am, Tuesday morning, feeling slightly shell-shocked that I am back to work, that I have a pretty full Inbox and that I am trying to remember all the bits that I need to do today. Luckily I write everything down because, a long time ago, I realised that I have a terrible memory. I have worked with people who keep their whole to do list in their heads, remember every fact ever uttered in a meeting and can recall them with pin-point accuracy whenever they can have the most devastating effect.
Me? I can barely remember what I had for breakfast. So I write it down. If it is not written down, it does not exist. Which is a variation on the old joke that "if it does not appear in Powerpoint, it does not exist" which is obviously a dig at our fine marketing colleagues. I think.
What am I talking about? The "time off" phenomenon. At the start of six days off, it feels like ages until you are back to work, and you keep telling yourself that it will all pass by very quickly, yet no amount of self-talk can prepare you for the suddenness with which Tuesday morning is upon you.
Oh well. So, here I am, Tuesday morning, feeling slightly shell-shocked that I am back to work, that I have a pretty full Inbox and that I am trying to remember all the bits that I need to do today. Luckily I write everything down because, a long time ago, I realised that I have a terrible memory. I have worked with people who keep their whole to do list in their heads, remember every fact ever uttered in a meeting and can recall them with pin-point accuracy whenever they can have the most devastating effect.
Me? I can barely remember what I had for breakfast. So I write it down. If it is not written down, it does not exist. Which is a variation on the old joke that "if it does not appear in Powerpoint, it does not exist" which is obviously a dig at our fine marketing colleagues. I think.
Monday, 5 April 2010
Easter is over.... sort of
We had a lovely day yesterday. Went to church for the Easter Sunday service which, if truth be told, was half an hour too long. Father Stuart is prone to talking a lot, or including lots of sections that draw out the service.
We were just on time (which equals late really) and had to separate in to two pairs. I got off lightly, sitting with maggot 1 who was very well behaved. LO was not so lucky with maggot 2 who, in fairness, has always had a 40 minute attention span, so the second half of the service was an ordeal, made worse because they were not sitting in their usual places, so were therefore sitting next to some of the more elderly members of the congregation. I believe there were a few silent tuts.
Then we had 10 for lunch. After an unfortunate potato peeling incident, I peeled what I thought was way too many potatoes, but by the end of the meal all the main course food had gone. It must have been all that running around outside playing a "football match". At least there was plenty of puddings left for later eating.
The lawn is absolutely knackered, but no point spending too much effort on it this side of the extension, but more of that another day.
We don't have much on today, so I hope to spend a bit of time in the garden, pruning an over-hanging apple tree that, in the autumn, is prone to dropping hundreds of apples on my lawn, which are a pain to keep picking up. I will also try and get the maggots inspired to do a bit of maintenance on the trampoline, which needs some green algae cleaned off the bottom of the net, and some general repairs to both net and spring padding.
We were just on time (which equals late really) and had to separate in to two pairs. I got off lightly, sitting with maggot 1 who was very well behaved. LO was not so lucky with maggot 2 who, in fairness, has always had a 40 minute attention span, so the second half of the service was an ordeal, made worse because they were not sitting in their usual places, so were therefore sitting next to some of the more elderly members of the congregation. I believe there were a few silent tuts.
Then we had 10 for lunch. After an unfortunate potato peeling incident, I peeled what I thought was way too many potatoes, but by the end of the meal all the main course food had gone. It must have been all that running around outside playing a "football match". At least there was plenty of puddings left for later eating.
The lawn is absolutely knackered, but no point spending too much effort on it this side of the extension, but more of that another day.
We don't have much on today, so I hope to spend a bit of time in the garden, pruning an over-hanging apple tree that, in the autumn, is prone to dropping hundreds of apples on my lawn, which are a pain to keep picking up. I will also try and get the maggots inspired to do a bit of maintenance on the trampoline, which needs some green algae cleaned off the bottom of the net, and some general repairs to both net and spring padding.
Saturday, 3 April 2010
Stepping off the bus
I am on day four of my little break, and it is still only Saturday. I took Wednesday and Thursday off to use up my holiday, an annual event enjoyed by many at Starfleet, but an event that makes the corridors of the organisation considerably less congested at this time of year. in fact, it now rivals the summer break for being a time when no-one is around and you can get nothing done.
I have had a very enjoyable, and mostly relaxing, time these last few days, and am very much feeling like a normal human being again. Today is Saturday and we have nothing much on, so are hoping the weather stays unwet so we can go for a bike ride.
This evening may well see us watching some of series three of Gavin and Stacey, having just devoured the last of series two, which was most enjoyable. The little moments of humour mixed with genuine characters who you really care about makes it a thoroughly enjoyable experience. Several of the funnier moments having us laughing out loud, and that does not have very often in the Scobi household with our clothes on.
We are obviously a bit late to the party with G&S, but boy are we glad we are on to it now, and having all three series to watch back to back is a joy to behold. "Gavalar".
So that is just about all for now. I would like to be looking forward to listening to Pompey vs Blackburn on the radio, but these days it can be a depressing experience, made worse in the last couple of weeks with further injuries, and couple of desertions, meaning that I won't even know some of the names on the pitch, being young'uns from the academy, and goodness knows if we will even make a full reserve bench.
Hey ho, the big event for us is obviously the FA Cup semi-final at Wembley, when we meet the arch rival Harry. Play up Pompey.
I have had a very enjoyable, and mostly relaxing, time these last few days, and am very much feeling like a normal human being again. Today is Saturday and we have nothing much on, so are hoping the weather stays unwet so we can go for a bike ride.
This evening may well see us watching some of series three of Gavin and Stacey, having just devoured the last of series two, which was most enjoyable. The little moments of humour mixed with genuine characters who you really care about makes it a thoroughly enjoyable experience. Several of the funnier moments having us laughing out loud, and that does not have very often in the Scobi household with our clothes on.
We are obviously a bit late to the party with G&S, but boy are we glad we are on to it now, and having all three series to watch back to back is a joy to behold. "Gavalar".
So that is just about all for now. I would like to be looking forward to listening to Pompey vs Blackburn on the radio, but these days it can be a depressing experience, made worse in the last couple of weeks with further injuries, and couple of desertions, meaning that I won't even know some of the names on the pitch, being young'uns from the academy, and goodness knows if we will even make a full reserve bench.
Hey ho, the big event for us is obviously the FA Cup semi-final at Wembley, when we meet the arch rival Harry. Play up Pompey.
Thursday, 1 April 2010
Caravanning
This is a subject in the same category as morris dancing and flower pressing. We all know someone who does it, but it is never spoken of in polite company. Well, today is the day to break that taboo, and I am the man for the job.
My name is Scobi, and I am a caravanner. There, I said it. I can expect a great reduction in readership just by uttering that one sentence.
So, why am I 'van and proud? Well, I guess it comes down to kids, family, electrical devices (or lack of) and time. The kids love going 'vannin' coz they get time and space to run around a lot, do stuff like getting muddy, making camps, riding their bikes, exploring streams, and generally keeping themselves occupied, and very much enjoying the freedom to do what they want without an adult in tow. Now, this is really good for parents as well. If the kids are occupied, then the parents can suit themselves, and that usually involved egg baps, tea and cake. And a couple of hands of Canasta. Or just chatting. Or just sitting (see previous post). So since a family is made up of kids and parents (without getting in to any "nuclear family" debates), this all adds up to being good for the family.
Next on the list is electrical devices. We have a fridge (keeps the beer cool), a cooker (cooks stuff), lights (helps to see stuff) and even a water pump and water heater (warm water is good for other stuff). Other than that, we are devoid of any twenty-first century devices. No TV, no phone, no laptop, no broadband (although these last two can be accommodated on most sites these days) and no little chores round the house to see to. Bliss. All we have to do is empty loos and waste water, and fill up the water barrel once a day or so. Even the latter two go away on a "fully serviced site" and I have just bought the gizmo that plumbs the water in to a tap so I don't need to fill up water, and a long waste pipe to plumb straight in to the waste hole on the pitch. So now all I need to do is empty the poo poos. At this point I ought to digress and discuss poo poo. Most people are probably cringing slightly at this point. If they are eating breakfast, lunch, tea, supper or a midnight feast, they may even be gagging slightly. But, no need dear readers. A bit of blue stuff (organic of course) in the tub turns it all in to harmless and odourless slop, which makes the emptying thereof not nearly as yucky as you would fear.
So the final benefit for me is time. Life is busy, and oftentimes all I want is to step off the bus for a while, and 'vannin' is just that. Stepping off the bus, taking a bit of time to think and talk and sleep and eat and drink and generally slow down. Your life 'vannin' is filled with either thinking about or actually doing one of the following:
- drinking
- eating
- washing
- sleeping
- thinking about where we can go out for half a day, just so that we can see some of the area, but really just so we can come back again and carry on doing what we were doing before we went somewhere.
So, finally, I wanted to clear up a few myths.
Myth 1: caravanners are boring
Well, what one person thinks about another person is always subjective. My experience is that there is no-one more boring than someone who thinks they are interesting.
Myth 2: We hold up the traffic.
I really don't understand this one. Wherever I go with my 'van in tow, the roads are always clear in front of me.
Myth 3: camping is cooler
We have camped on and off for 20 years. We loved camping. But we didn't find it cool spending 2 hours to setup, 2 hours to break down the camp, getting cold, having uncomfortable nights, and generally having a high hassle/fun ratio. 'Vanning solves most of the hassle, but takes away none of the fun. In my opinion. Which we have already concluded is subjective.
If anyone is converted, unconvinced of nauseated by this blog, please leave me a comment. Make it polite, and try to spell all the words correctly. I know, that last comment was nasty, and not befitting the calibre of reader I am attracting, for which I apologise.
My name is Scobi, and I am a caravanner. There, I said it. I can expect a great reduction in readership just by uttering that one sentence.
So, why am I 'van and proud? Well, I guess it comes down to kids, family, electrical devices (or lack of) and time. The kids love going 'vannin' coz they get time and space to run around a lot, do stuff like getting muddy, making camps, riding their bikes, exploring streams, and generally keeping themselves occupied, and very much enjoying the freedom to do what they want without an adult in tow. Now, this is really good for parents as well. If the kids are occupied, then the parents can suit themselves, and that usually involved egg baps, tea and cake. And a couple of hands of Canasta. Or just chatting. Or just sitting (see previous post). So since a family is made up of kids and parents (without getting in to any "nuclear family" debates), this all adds up to being good for the family.
Next on the list is electrical devices. We have a fridge (keeps the beer cool), a cooker (cooks stuff), lights (helps to see stuff) and even a water pump and water heater (warm water is good for other stuff). Other than that, we are devoid of any twenty-first century devices. No TV, no phone, no laptop, no broadband (although these last two can be accommodated on most sites these days) and no little chores round the house to see to. Bliss. All we have to do is empty loos and waste water, and fill up the water barrel once a day or so. Even the latter two go away on a "fully serviced site" and I have just bought the gizmo that plumbs the water in to a tap so I don't need to fill up water, and a long waste pipe to plumb straight in to the waste hole on the pitch. So now all I need to do is empty the poo poos. At this point I ought to digress and discuss poo poo. Most people are probably cringing slightly at this point. If they are eating breakfast, lunch, tea, supper or a midnight feast, they may even be gagging slightly. But, no need dear readers. A bit of blue stuff (organic of course) in the tub turns it all in to harmless and odourless slop, which makes the emptying thereof not nearly as yucky as you would fear.
So the final benefit for me is time. Life is busy, and oftentimes all I want is to step off the bus for a while, and 'vannin' is just that. Stepping off the bus, taking a bit of time to think and talk and sleep and eat and drink and generally slow down. Your life 'vannin' is filled with either thinking about or actually doing one of the following:
- drinking
- eating
- washing
- sleeping
- thinking about where we can go out for half a day, just so that we can see some of the area, but really just so we can come back again and carry on doing what we were doing before we went somewhere.
So, finally, I wanted to clear up a few myths.
Myth 1: caravanners are boring
Well, what one person thinks about another person is always subjective. My experience is that there is no-one more boring than someone who thinks they are interesting.
Myth 2: We hold up the traffic.
I really don't understand this one. Wherever I go with my 'van in tow, the roads are always clear in front of me.
Myth 3: camping is cooler
We have camped on and off for 20 years. We loved camping. But we didn't find it cool spending 2 hours to setup, 2 hours to break down the camp, getting cold, having uncomfortable nights, and generally having a high hassle/fun ratio. 'Vanning solves most of the hassle, but takes away none of the fun. In my opinion. Which we have already concluded is subjective.
If anyone is converted, unconvinced of nauseated by this blog, please leave me a comment. Make it polite, and try to spell all the words correctly. I know, that last comment was nasty, and not befitting the calibre of reader I am attracting, for which I apologise.
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