Caravanning

This is a subject in the same category as morris dancing and flower pressing. We all know someone who does it, but it is never spoken of in polite company. Well, today is the day to break that taboo, and I am the man for the job.

My name is Scobi, and I am a caravanner. There, I said it. I can expect a great reduction in readership just by uttering that one sentence.

So, why am I 'van and proud? Well, I guess it comes down to kids, family, electrical devices (or lack of) and time. The kids love going 'vannin' coz they get time and space to run around a lot, do stuff like getting muddy, making camps, riding their bikes, exploring streams, and generally keeping themselves occupied, and very much enjoying the freedom to do what they want without an adult in tow. Now, this is really good for parents as well. If the kids are occupied, then the parents can suit themselves, and that usually involved egg baps, tea and cake. And a couple of hands of Canasta. Or just chatting. Or just sitting (see previous post). So since a family is made up of kids and parents (without getting in to any "nuclear family" debates), this all adds up to being good for the family.
Next on the list is electrical devices. We have a fridge (keeps the beer cool), a cooker (cooks stuff), lights (helps to see stuff) and even a water pump and water heater (warm water is good for other stuff). Other than that, we are devoid of any twenty-first century devices. No TV, no phone, no laptop, no broadband (although these last two can be accommodated on most sites these days) and no little chores round the house to see to. Bliss. All we have to do is empty loos and waste water, and fill up the water barrel once a day or so. Even the latter two go away on a "fully serviced site" and I have just bought the gizmo that plumbs the water in to a tap so I don't need to fill up water, and a long waste pipe to plumb straight in to the waste hole on the pitch. So now all I need to do is empty the poo poos. At this point I ought to digress and discuss poo poo. Most people are probably cringing slightly at this point. If they are eating breakfast, lunch, tea, supper or a midnight feast, they may even be gagging slightly. But, no need dear readers. A bit of blue stuff (organic of course) in the tub turns it all in to harmless and odourless slop, which makes the emptying thereof not nearly as yucky as you would fear.

So the final benefit for me is time. Life is busy, and oftentimes all I want is to step off the bus for a while, and 'vannin' is just that. Stepping off the bus, taking a bit of time to think and talk and sleep and eat and drink and generally slow down. Your life 'vannin' is filled with either thinking about or actually doing one of the following:
- drinking
- eating
- washing
- sleeping
- thinking about where we can go out for half a day, just so that we can see some of the area, but really just so we can come back again and carry on doing what we were doing before we went somewhere.

So, finally, I wanted to clear up a few myths.

Myth 1: caravanners are boring
Well, what one person thinks about another person is always subjective. My experience is that there is no-one more boring than someone who thinks they are interesting.

Myth 2: We hold up the traffic.
I really don't understand this one. Wherever I go with my 'van in tow, the roads are always clear in front of me.

Myth 3: camping is cooler
We have camped on and off for 20 years. We loved camping. But we didn't find it cool spending 2 hours to setup, 2 hours to break down the camp, getting cold, having uncomfortable nights, and generally having a high hassle/fun ratio. 'Vanning solves most of the hassle, but takes away none of the fun. In my opinion. Which we have already concluded is subjective.

If anyone is converted, unconvinced of nauseated by this blog, please leave me a comment. Make it polite, and try to spell all the words correctly. I know, that last comment was nasty, and not befitting the calibre of reader I am attracting, for which I apologise.