Bless all of you who continued to check my blog even though I have written absolutely nothing for two weeks. I am pretty sure I know who one of you is, but not the other*.
I have just had the thought that I could write a really short blog, but with dozens of footnotes, so that the main blog is very short and the whole story is told in the footnotes. Having given it some thought, I realise that is a dumb idea**.
I did have a fantastic two weeks in France. We ate croissants and French bread, which is the law, and drank red and white wine, ditto, and swam in the swimming pool at least three times each day*****, which while not law, is pretty damn sensible. We have a suplus of inflatables, the best of which was a lilo for two with drinks holder one side and space for an ice bucket the other side, something like this. Inflatables have become a bit of a holiday tradition, with the double bed joined by a single chair, a crocodile, a stingray, two rings and a dingy, plus a plane with the rings ripped off (long story******). The latter is used only for the bucking bronco game, where you have to jump on it, legs astride the fuselage, and stay on for more than 10 seconds, which depending on how blown up it is can range from fairly easy to impossible.
Other than that, we visited markets, went to the beach, boogie-boarded whenever possible, and generally did not much very slowly.
To say that coming back is a bit of a shock is like saying that Portsmouth FC are pretty bad at the moment. I just hope that my work colleagues will take it easy on me, which is unlikely since my departure for two weeks is the reason they are in the mess they are in right now, having to pick up all my work etc.
So, onwards and upwards, as they say, and here's to the rest of the summer, and all that life will bring to our happy family.
Love to you all (even Golfy) and hope to catch up soon.
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* That last comment would have been funnier if it had not been true**.
** Well thank goodness for that, I was about to ask for my money back, and as the old saying goes, please don't ask for a refund as a refusal (or punch on the nose, depending on the establishment) often offends. No offence meant***.
*** I am now nesting my footnotes, which any editor worth their salt knows is not a good thing. However, in this case, I feel it warrants the comment that, as a rule, anyone who starts a sentence with "not being funny or anything", or "no offence meant but..." or "with the greatest respect" needs to be shot first, and have questions asked afterwards****. And also as a rule mean anything but what they actually say. i.e. "No offence meant, but you are a right tw@t" - that kind of thing.
**** Just on a point of order, you can begin to see why the cowboys became extinct if that was their policy.
***** The ladies did tend to attend the afternoon session only.
****** Not that long, they just got bust the holiday before last.
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