It is hard to believe that just five short days ago I was drinking red wine in France, beating the girls at Canasta and getting ready for another fantastic evening meal. Right now, I am looking out the hotel window at Primark in Oxford Street.
To be honest, this is the best room I have had for a while. At least it faces outwards, and not inwards to the inner "courtyard" which contains the hotel's air-conditioning units, and I am talking the size of two London buses with every seat taken. I feel blessed.
The first 2 days back at work were not so bad, but that is because the real thing has yet to kick in. I plan to spend this second honeymoon period addressing some of that important-not-urgent stuff that gets stuck down the to-do list and never gets done, just before the full weight of chores are back on my plate. I just need to find out what the hell they are, and I will get right to them.
In the meantime, and in case you did not see them, I thought I would reproduce the Top 10 jokes from the Edinburgh Fringe 2010. I know you like a laugh (or else why would you be reading this) and the certainly made me smile. Enjoy.
1. Tim Vine: I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again.
2. David Gibson (as Ray Green): I'm currently dating a couple of anorexics. Two birds, one stone.
3. Emo Philips: I picked up a hitchhiker. You gotta when you hit them.
4. Jack Whitehall: I bought one of those anti-bullying wristbands when they first came out. I say 'bought' - I actually stole it off a short, fat ginger kid.
5. Gary Delaney: As a kid I was made to walk the plank. We couldn't afford a dog.
6. John Bishop: Being an England supporter is like being the over-optimistic parents of the fat kid on sports day.
7. Bo Burnham: What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.
8. Gary Delaney: Dave drowned. So at the funeral we got him a wreath in the shape of a lifebelt. Well, it's what he would have wanted.
9. Robert White: For Vanessa Feltz, life is like a box of chocolates - empty.
10. Gareth Richards: Wooden spoons are great. You can either use them to prepare food, or if you can't be bothered with that, just write a number on one and walk into a pub.