And . . . relax

We find ourselves at Friday, and two cheers for that*.

This week has been long and it has been hard.  Some of this has been to do with the accumulation of fun that naturally occurs during time away.  Like the mail on your doorstep, it tends to pile up with no regard for human dignity and a chap's well-being.  The rest of it has been to do with some really big, hairy problems.

You know when you are at a party, or anywhere in a social setting with at least some people who are unknown to you, and you are circulating, and you are asked the "What do you do?" question.  "I work in IT", you say.  At this point about fifty percent glaze over, or see someone over the other side of the room to whom they just have to speak.  The other fifty percent then ask "Oh, who do you work for?".  Once you have delivered the "Starfleet" answer, a further ninety percent get a call from their baby-sitter.  For that tiny percentage who are still talking to you, the next obvious question is, as I have discussed before, "I know someone in Starfleet, you probably know them".  If not, then it might well be "What do you do?".  I have experimented with several different answers to this question and based on the blankness of the look, have concluded that the easiest and most effective answer is "solving problems".  And that is about it really.  There is a lot of devil in the detail, but basically it is about being faced, every day, with a bunch of problems, and looking for ways to solve them.  The sad fact that many of these problems are those of trying to get a behemoth like Starfleet to do your bidding, or more precisely how you work out a way round Starfleet not doing your bidding.  This naturally leaves only a small amount of your time to actually, you know, talk to your customer and stuff like that.

This weekend, we are having a Dinner for Eight and look forward to seeing Brad and Angelina, who are staying at our Saturday night.  We can hear all about Brad's marathon exploits and be rather glad that our ambitions do not point in that direction.

Have a good weekend, and speak next week.

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* too tired to do three.

And . . . relax

I know it has been a while, and from my bulging post bag I know you have all been missing me.  I like to live by the adage "don't let a good story get in the way of the truth".

Due to silly stuff at work, the usual pile up of pleasures and personal invitations, I am going to be brief today.

I very much approve of a two-day week, and maybe two days on and five days off is something I can suggest at our next "bring us your wonderful ideas" days.  This weekend we are at a wedding anniversary on Saturday, starting and ending early so it is child-friendly, for friends who live round the corner.  Sunday may be lunch at David and Samantha's, depending on their general preparedness for the Monday start of the Summer term.  This may well be a "kitchen supper", something most of us had not heard of until fairly recently.  To be honest, as a major donor to David's Euro Lottery Investment Fund business opportunity, a kitchen supper is the least of it.  A few double-digit wins wouldn't go amiss either.  And if we go to lunch with them, we may avoid the usual Sunday afternoon Monopoly marathon, a game which involves a lot of dodgy dealing and ending with world domination by me.

Other than that, I hope to have a fairly quiet and family-friendly weekend.  Until we can sort the insurance claim for the accidental damage to the shower door and shower tray, my main DIY task needs to go on hold, and all the other bits are tiddlers for which an hour will probably suffice.

And . . . relax

Another day of illness.  Maggot 2 had one of his hallucinations last night so ended down on the sofa with us until we went to bed, which due to the disturbed night the night before was around 9pm.  We put him on to the Z-bed in our room but he ended up in our bed, but I was on the sofa already so no great shakes.

My shoulder pain is continuing to be a problem.  It has probably got worse over the day, and is a funny thing.  I can do unexpected things like replace the padding and net on the trampoline, which I completed without any great pain by ensuring I did not raise the bad arm over my head.  This is contrasted by the fact that it is very uncomfortable sitting on the sofa, and also to lie in bed.  In fact, at 1am I took a strong pain-killer and retired to the sofa so I could sleep sitting up.  Instead, I ended up watching Russell Howard's Good News, which I have caught from time to time and which is actually very funny.  He had a comic on whose name I cannot remember or find, and he was also very good.  His delivery style was to shout at the audience - doesn't sound so good so far but it was very effective - and then to get slowly more morose as the topic stayed, and remained, on lost love, as it became clear that he himself had lost love, with the story unfolding through jokes, verbal abuse and song.  It was properly edgy and the audience laughed, joined in and, on one occasion, heckled, but in the round were totally on edge not knowing what would come next, as was I.  Hard to explain really, and without a name I cannot even point you to a clip, and it is not for the want of trying.  I have Googled and Googled but with no success.

Back to the shoulder.  I have found that it really is a bit unpredictable as to when it hurts, and it is hard to know where to put it to avoid it causing pain, to the extent that I have now got a sling and keep it in that whenever I can, and while it looks ridiculous - there has been the odd snigger - it really is the most comfortable place to keep it.  My preference, as it is with all men, is that as time passes it will just go away and I can avoid the tedium of medical intervention, and usually I am able to strongly and without guilt support that posture.  This time however, there is a little niggling voice that it is actually quite serious and that I may need to get the professionals involved.  Which is tedious.

"Will I be able to play the violin afterwards doctor?".

"Yes, of course..."

"Great! I never could before!"

I hope you have a pain-free weekend.  Speak next week.

P.S. I thought I would Google "violin jokes", and as usual Uncle Google did not disappoint.  There are actual whole websites devoted to the subject of violin humour.  I am guessing they are a pretty small and inward-looking community, but exist they do.

So, here are some violin jokes.

Q: How can you tell if a violin is out of tune?
A: The bow is moving.

Q: How do you make a violin sound like a viola?
A: Sit in the back and don't play.

Q: How do you make a violin sound like a viola?
A: Play in the low register with a lot of wrong notes.

Q: What is the difference between a violin and a viola?
A: A viola burns longer.

Q: Why does a viola burn longer than a violin?
A: It is usually still in the case.

Q: What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?
A: Everyone is happy when the case is closed.

Q: Which is smaller, a violin or a viola?
A: They are actually the same size, but a violinist's head is so much bigger.

Q: Why is a violinist like a Scud missile?
A: Both are offensive and inaccurate.

Q: How do you keep your violin from getting stolen?
A: Put it in a viola case.

Q: What is the difference between a violist and a terrorist?
A: Terrorists have sympathizers.

Q: Why don't violists play hide and seek?
A: Because no one will look for them.

Q: Why shouldn't violists take up mountaineering?
A: Because if they get lost, it takes ages before anyone notices that they're missing.

I am sensing a bit of tension between the violin and viola camps, aren't you?

And . . . relax

I don't know about you, but I am liking the way the days are starting to draw out, the warmer temperatures that are appearing, if not all over the UK map, at least in the southern regions.  I have noticed the odd bud appearing on the flora, and the odd skip in the step with the fauna.  All in all, there is a sense that while the world's economics remains flat at best, and sinking at worst, at least Mother Nature is doing her thing when she should be doing it.

This weekend looks like being a bit of a lads weekend.  LO has waxing (don't ask) and will probably spend most of her day on college work (swot), so it will be me and the lads doing swimming for Maggot 2, followed by an afternoon football tournament for Maggot 1 with the cubs.  I have manfully volunteered to assist, which may mean anything from nothing to refereeing a match, with a bit of cat-herding in between.  Maggot 2 is coming too, and I hope that he can contribute in some way, whether by running the line, or maybe taking the bungs.  Both he and I will take our boots "just in case we are needed".

Once that is over, it will be back for a cup of tea and a slice of cake, and quite possibly a little nap for the elder members of the lads' club.  Then in the evening we have a 50th birthday party, with a "hippy" theme.  I did try to suggest to LO she has hips enough already, but selective deafness led her to eBay and the purchase of a hippy wig with tinted heart-shaped sunglasses.  My outfit is based completely on items I have found in our "dressing up box", which we keep in the loft to ensure that it is slightly damp with a faint odour of eau-de-mould.  I will be wearing flares and an old leather, likely with a stupid hat (that I actually did originally buy for normal wear) and some beads or something.  I believe that in such situations, a token gesture usually gets you through the door, and within the hour everyone has either swapped their items or are naked*, so it doesn't really matter any more.

I hope you too have a groovy and love-filled weekend man.

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* Humour of course has no respect for the truth

And . . . relax

And now, the time is near, and we find ourselves at Friday.  Hurray for that.

As you know, I have been running a highly scientific experiment to see whether a shorter week makes the getting to Friday any the quicker, and this week's data has been added to the data from previous weeks, and some clever jiggery pokery has been done to the dataset, most of which I don't really understand.  I find that keeping quiet and stroking your chin a bit tends to give a chap a certain knowing air.  Less is more and all that, something I think Jordan could probably have heeded.

Anyhow, this was a five day week.  It had been planned as a four day week, however Maggot 2's illness put a halt to us both attending the school trip to a local attraction, so the week was five days long and the feeling on Friday was just the same as when it was three days long.  So that proves it then.

On the subject of Maggot 2, I think if truth be told, he was not so worried about missing the school trip.  It was to a local outdoor centre that has a number of old buildings, from early middle ages onwards, and as part of the theme, the kids were asked to dress up in Victorian costumes.  Truth be told, Maggot 2 is not so keen on dressing up, in public at least.  Either doing it of watching other people doing it tends to bring the same response "weirdos".  Now, if you were in a beautiful country village on a sunny summer's day and some strange fellows with stick and bells on their shoes were to start dancing, I think most of us would be with Maggot 2, however in general the tolerance for such things is much greater in the populous than it is for Maggot 2.

This Sunday we are hosting a family do, to say thank you to all the uncles who helped build our extension.  This will be an interesting affair, not least because the brothers are all so very different and, truth be told, do not often get together in one place, except maybe to go watch Pompey at Fratton Park.  So we can expect a few "family moments" but hopefully also some fun, some drinking, some eating and, if I can time it right, a little postprandial kip to boot.

Before I go, I saw this quote and smiled:

• "Formula for success: rise early, work hard, strike oil." J. Paul Getty

I guess winning the lottery could swap with striking oil, and on that note, I hope you have a successful weekend, and if you don't hear from me again, well I did warn you; I am probably on some deserted island somewhere warm, and beyond the reception area of my phone.

Have a good weekend.

And . . . relax

A busy Friday with 4 hours of conference calls, the Death Eaters of the modern age, and a desire to finish early to head on down to Lymington, because folks, we are off 'vannin' this weekend.

Regular readers will be very familiar with my dabblings in this dark art, but for those less familiar, yes, it is true, I am not as cool as you thought I was*.  The weather is keeping us guessing, having had around an inch or two of snow in these parts (I know, snow, in the South, what is the world coming to) but it seems to be already melting, and the forecast for tomorrow is sunny and Sunday white cloud, so it is likely to be all systems go, with the usual last minute kerfuffle finding gloves, notepads, pocket money or some other essential item from the Maggots and a bit of overall adult stress sprinkled on for good measure.  All will be well when the big white box is on the back and we are heading out along the A27 to the Forest, and there is even the odds on chance that there will still be a bit of light when we arrive so we can get the 'van unpacked, the little porch awning erected, everything connected and the first beer being opened.  Once you hear the pfft of the ring pull you begin to believe that all is right with the world.  The fact that I also have Monday and Tuesday off next week will just add to that general sense of well-being, and to be honest I need a couple of days off the merry-go-round just to regain some peace and sanity.

I hope your weekend is as good as mine is sure to be, and speak again on Wednesday.

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* and that was not so cool to start with, so in to minus cool now. Ed. 

And . . . relax - it's Friday you know

At long last we reach Friday, and I am nearly at the end of my weekday themed blogging. Let's have a look at what Uncle Google has to say about Friday.

Well, Friday's child is loving and giving, which is nice.

Otherwise, there is only inane stuff broadly under the category "POETS", none of which particularly tickled me. Instead, let me share with you some random ones* that I found, all of which in some way resonate with me since they relate to various experiences I have had through the week. Based on their reading, I think it would be fair to say that some of this week's interactions have been in the neutral-to-negative spectrum.

• "The average person thinks he isn’t." - Father Larry Lorenzoni
• "One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one’s work is terribly important." - Bertrand Russell (1872-1970)
• "Plato was a bore." - Friedrich Nietzsche (1844-1900) 
• "For there is nothing either good or bad, thinking makes it so." - William Shakespeare (1564-1616), Hamlet, II.ii
• "Contradictions do not exist. Whenever you think that you are facing a contradiction, check your premises. You will find that one of them is wrong." - Ayn Rand (1905-1982)
• "We must have strong minds, ready to accept facts as they are." - Harry S Truman (1884-1972) 
• "A problem well stated is a problem half solved." - Charles Franklin Kettering (1876-1958) 
• "Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing left to add, but when there is nothing left to take away."  - Antoine de Saint-Exupéry (1900-1944) 
• "A little inaccuracy sometimes saves a ton of explanation." - H. H. Munro (Saki) (1870-1916) 
• "The only possible conclusion the social sciences can draw is: some do, some don’t." - Ernest Rutherford (1871-1937) 
• "A great many people think they are thinking when they are actually rearranging their prejudices." - William James (1842-1910) 
• "I think it would be a good idea." - Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948), when asked what he thought of Western civilization 
• "Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure about the former." - Albert Einstein (1879-1955) 
• "A word to the wise ain’t necessary, it is the stupid ones who need all the advice." - Bill Cosby (1937-)
• "Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig." - Proverb

And finally, to put all that in to perspective:

• "A witty saying proves nothing." - Voltaire (1694-1778)

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* Random in that they came up in a search for "witty comments about Friday", so either Uncle Google has been on the sauce again, or someone is playing fast and loose with their keywords.

And . . . relax

Now that the year has started in earnest, and I am pretty much up to fifth gear now with work, it is OK to relax again.  Not too much of course, that way lies disaster, but with two youngish Maggots and a young wife, let's just say the opportunities are not that forthcoming.

This weekend, we have an evening out at A&E's which will, as always, be a fun gastronomic evening full of lively banter right up to the point I gently nod off.  This is not to say that the others are not capable of lively banter, quite the opposite in fact, especially after the third bottle, however it is true to say that any such banter by and large passes me by.

We are also playing host to the outlaws for Sunday lunch, where I may be forced to share a glass of red with father-in-law, it being rude to refuse and all that, so from late Sunday afternoon, it is entirely possible that, once again, the lively banter will cease, for me at least.

Otherwise, it is a normal weekend with tennis and swimming for the Maggots, some home stuff for the adults, some food, some relaxation and some other stuff that is quite hard to classify.

I hope that yours is normal or abnormal, or whatever is the norm in your house.

And . . . relax

Considering that this is the first full week at work after a four day week last week and 11 days off for Christmas the week before, Friday really has come round pretty quickly this week.  That is not to say that it was not a blur, because it most definitely was.


Only notable part for me was the funeral for Mrs Yaxley, who was a Teaching Assistant for the Reception class at the Maggots' school.  She was a fantastic person and wonderful with all the children, including both Maggots, for whom Mrs Yaxley was a caring and important person in their first year at school.  She died on 20th December and Thursday was the day of the funeral, and in the morning, the funeral procession made a detour via the school, where the Year 4, 5 and 6 children stood solemnly by the road as the entourage passed slowly by, led by a funeral directly walking ahead of the hearse.  It was for me a touching moment and it was good to be able to give my last respects.  I hope she is at peace.


This weekend we are not doing much, which is just what the doctor ordered, what with all the Maggot clubs and LO's course work and two lots of Governor's Meetings and work and decorating the bathroom*.  We are expecting a visit from David and Samantha for Sunday lunch, which is also just what the doctor ordered, and we have all promised to be strong and not drink alcohol.... hopefully.


I hope you have just the weekend for which you were looking (dang if that just don't sound wrong).


--------------------------------
* keep it calm, take a breath

And . . . (don't) relax

While I find myself conveniently at Friday, for this week, and maybe this week only, the last think I need to do is relax.  I had eleven days of that over Christmas, and look where that got me.  This week has been as hard a week as I can remember*, and getting up to speed with real life has been hard.  It may even be true to say that while the rest of the world is cruising in fifth, I am only just moving up in to third gear and to be honest looking for the next service station so I can pull over for a quick power nap, in fact it may even be just a normal nap, which as any budding Sunday afternoon nap expert will tell you revolves around contorting the body in to an infeasible position and placing one's mouth in the open position, at a slight angle to ensure that the dribble comes out only one side of the mouth**.

So, this Friday finds me looking forward to a couple of days off.  We have a big surprise party on Saturday***, and I do plan to re-decorate the main bathroom, so it will be busy but relaxed, with a bit of over-indulgence in the middle.

One final note.  I saw this on the BBC News website, and it did amuse me.  I assume they polled the men as they left the pub since it looked like the sort of non-article that make all the better reading for being so.  I was amused by the comment in

the article:

• The study compiled from the results of the survey found that 80% of men who responded engaged regularly in conversation about one another's bodies.

Now titter ye not and all that, but I have to admit this did raise an eyebrow.

I hope your weekend finds the correct balance of ingredients to bake a perfect two-day break.


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* although, it should be said that the limit of memory may well be limited, a combination of age and mince pie poisoning.
** We all know that you can tell when an idiot is on level ground, because the dribbles comes out evenly each side of their mouth.
***  One may question the logic of broadcasting a surprise on the internet, however one may also want to check how many people read this Blog, since that mitigates the majority of the risk.

And . . . relax*

Only working a half day today.  Once school is out, we will be heading out towards East Devon for our weekend away.  The roof bars and roof box are on, the car is (nearly) packed, the address is programmed in to the Sat Nav and Maggots are primed to moan all the way there.

Our best route seems to be via Salisbury, and anyone who knows Salisbury anytime near rush hour will know that the alternative route must be very bad indeed if Salisbury is the best answer.  We can only hope that an early departure will stop us getting the worst of it, but I doubt that somehow, what with the rush our starting at around Friday lunchtime (what is that all about?  How do normal folks manage to finish so early?) and all.  As LO is oft to say, we will get there when we get there, but that is always before we have set off, and is never uttered after half an hour in the first traffic jam.

The weekend should be one full of fun, food and the occasional drink.  The only fly in the Scobi camp ointment is Maggot 2 is under par, off for a second day with one of his too-regular non-specific virus type fevers.  This tends to manifest itself in a temperature, headache and general listlessness, and a prevalence of hallucinations cum nightmares-whilst-awake type events, which can be pretty distressing, not least for Nanny who kindly baby-sat him for us yesterday during the working day.

I hope you have a great weekend, and speak again Tuesday**.




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* That one is for Golfy
** I did mention I had a day off Monday didn't I??

And . . . relax

This has been a week that history may classify as a turning point.  I am not shouting about that yet just in case it is a blip, and we are approaching the silly season for holidays, so that will make an impact also, but maybe, just maybe, we are starting to get on top of our backlog.

The reasons I am not yet shouting about it are several, including the fact that it is a bit early to say we have nailed it, because I am by nature a bit conservative and prefer to "under promise and over deliver" (BINGO!  Ed.), and also actually because if we do clear our backlog too quickly then I will have some of my team taken away from me to work on distant planets.

Also, as Mrs Marple said, there is many a slip twixt cup and lip, so caution favours the brave and the brave favour caution, and there are old pilots, and bold pilots, but no old, bold pilots etc. etc.  I may have to run that one up the flagpole to see who salutes (enough already, ed.).

This weekend looks pretty fantastic weather wise, and it will be spent poodling round the house, doing some DIY, playing with the maggots and spending some quality time with LO.  I think also that I shall be visiting the tip a couple of times trying to clear several white bags (to bags in which all the sand etc. was delivered) that have built up from the builders, the plasterer and the tiler.  At least they were tidy, but at the same time it is a bit if a pain having to clear these manually, but then that is what weekends are for.

I hope yours is as much fun as mine is shaping up to be.  Speak next week.

And . . . relax

If you are allergic to fruit, then you may want to look away now, but for the rest of you, just want to confirm that the iPhone has arrived. 

"Is it an iPhone 4?" asked Maggot 1.  "Yes", I replied.  "Cooooool" he replied.  A (small) man of few words, but they are all well chosen, because it truly is cool.  In the words of Golfy, "Everything just works", and as if to prove the point, Maggot 1 and Maggot 2 are already top scorers (on my phone at least) for some crazy bird catapult thing, and between us we have download two thirds of the Apple Store's back catalogue.  If anyone want to know the best wine to go with roasted goat, or the quickest way to get across Tokyo by tube, then I am your man.

On other news, there is no other news, except I am going to a Bollywood Ball tonight, so much veggie curry, a live Bangara band and the sort of "drunk uncle" dancing of which your average big fat gypsy wedding (no offense to the travelling community who tune in) can only aspire.  I fear some alcohol may also be consumed.

I hope your weekend starts with as much glitz, and speak again next week.

So there you are

I have been looking for Friday all week, and now I have found it.  Another week over, and a bit of progress made, but definitely time to go home and see my family.  I am not even sure what we are doing this weekend, but I don't care, I would just like to be sleeping in my own bed and spending some time with the family.  

I did manage to go shopping one evening, with the big shops open until 8pm.  Got myself some of them there long short things for my summer holidays, and a little present each for LO, maggot 1 and maggot 2.  The emphasis on little.  Sent a text last night mentioning it, and realise I have set myself up to fail.  However much they are preparing for something "little", I imagine that the "little" that they are going to get is somewhat "littler" than the "little" that they have imagined.  We will all try to laugh it off at the time, but I expect to be left in no doubt that my card is marked.

I hope your weekend will be as good as mine is definitely going to be.

Enjoy the sunshine.  I hope to be in the (large) paddling pool with the maggots, maybe a little lie in the hammock, and participating in whatever activities we have planned or make up over the weekend.  Ah, bliss.  ttfn.

and . . . relax!

When I was younger, I used to go to aerobics every Tuesday.  Let's all of us think of a long and interesting story as to why I did that, but a guy's got to get his exercise where he can find it.

Anyhow, I have three strong memories of those times.  The first is that Mrs Scobi used to go, so we can sort of say we met over a sweaty leotard.  My second memory was this girl/woman who was always in the front row, who was friends with the instructor, who always did the "if you want to push it further do this" bits, and who had the most amazing curve in her back - her body in a leotard looked like one of those Jane Austin women with a massive bow on the back of their dress, such was the curve and the protrusion of the bottom.  I can feel a serious squirrel moment coming on.

The third thing I remember was the terrible bit at the end when you had to stretch and bend and hold all sorts of positions that in another context would definitely contravene International Human Rights legislation.  Right at the end of all that torture was the "and . . . relax" moment when we were allowed to just lie there and rest.

That is the feeling I have today as Friday appears over the horizon.

I am starting very early today (my day started with the lowest number starting with a six, for Bad Man readers) so that I can finish early and head to the New Forest for some R&R amongst the trees and with our very good friends, who I mistakenly called Homer and Marge last time I wrote about them, but who of course really should have been called Brad and Angelina.  In the good days.  And without any adoptions.  Anyhow, the weather forecast is looking good, and there is a lovely river near the site where one can dip one's toe in to water, or jump from a rope swing in to the deep bit, depending on your predilection.  If the sun does shine it will be as busy as Brighton beach, and just as interesting for the people-watchers amongst us. 

Have a great weekend, and speak again soon.

Blinking

I have just blinked and it is Friday. How did that happen? I must try blinking more often.

It happened, of course, because the week has been very busy. I spent a couple of days and one night in London, as I have already told you, and had some train issues on the way home, something that is frustrating beyond belief, but something I think I will have to get used to. The final leg was spent sharing a taxi with three other fellow travellers to get home. I remember reading the definition of how you complete the Luge is "Lie flat, don't die" and you need a bit of that to get through a week like this.

So Friday it is, and this Friday sees me with a half day off to go, yes you've guessed it, 'vannin'. I shall be dragging the big white box down to Lyme Regis to stay at a campsite by the sea. It is also a site where our friends, let's call them Brad and Angelina, are also staying, in a static caravan owned by Brad's mum. When it comes to big, white and ugly theirs knock ours in to a cocked hat.

And in best squirrel tradition, I just had to Google that expression, because in black and white, it does look strange. The definition taken from several sites seems to settle on something like this:

"The game of Cocked Hat was similar to ninepins except that only three pins were set up, in triangular formation. It took its name from the three-cornered hat with the brim turned up (i.e. cocked) worn in the late 18th and early 19th centuries. The expression implies a comparison between something in disarray after a defeat and the way in which pins are sent flying in a game of Cocked Hat."

So there you go.

We are very much looking forward to being away in the 'van, to spending some time by the sea with our very good friends. We are not, however, sure we like the weather men (and women) very much. They keep insisting it is going to rain over the long weekend. What's that all about? I for one shall do what I always do in such situations, and ignore the reports, simply believing that it will "probably be all right where we are." I shall report back as to how this highly scientific experiment goes.


I have just caught a news item about a sixty-seven year old man from the US who accidentally got his foot caught between the accelerator and brake, and managed to reverse fast in to has parking space, punching a hole in the wall behind the space. Oh, and he was seven floors up in a multi-storey car park. No people were hurt, but a couple of cars have had their pride and bonnets dented by falling rubble.

I hope your long weekend is enjoyable, and your imagination and weather-altering powers are as good as mine.